BALLPARK - The Album

Probably one of the things I’m the most proud of accomplishing so far in my life. I’ve wanted to make this album for a couple of years. It genuinely took years to be able to create an album that conveyed the growth within myself and my headspace. The years it took to write from my perspective and feel self-validation. I didn’t think when the year started that I would be able to create my favorite album of 2023 but it happened. I was still too insecure to market this album but that wasn’t really important to me. I made this album for me and my best friends from my hometown and at school to listen to.

It’s something important to me because I hope I can help other artists get the same feeling from their music if I get to do advertising in the music industry one day. I think it’s really important to be a fan of your own work without letting public reception boggle you. Maybe a demo or an idea doesn’t work out in the vision you sought after but I think there’s a beauty to that unfinished canvas as well. It’s okay to work on something you know you don’t want to show to the public, but let that demo or idea live to it’s full extent, whether it’s recognized by thousands of people or only yourself.

Before I made this album, I was in a headspace where I felt like I lost my voice, I didn’t really feel like my perspective had any weight or meaning. I thought a lot about how the idea of quitting would be so much easier, how much easier it would be to feel normal if I were to just give up this hobby. Time really heals in the long run but I had to put in the effort to find my voice again. I’m glad I found it.

This album fueled a flame for me because now I can listen to this album and be at peace that if my work is finished, I got to leave this album behind at the minimum. Part of me will always want to create but I don’t feel a rush against time anymore. The only part of me that wants to create music again is the goal to make an album that my parents and grandparents can listen to. It’s not a knock against the album, I just know I didn’t target the sound of this album for them. In the process of making this album, I had a bad fear of time and that I would be gone before I was supposed to. I used to feel like I was running to a dead end but I’m proud to say that was one of the best changes in my mental health post this album. I know what I want out of this life, I know who I wanna be. I finally got to a place where I’ve been setting long-term plans that I want to accomplish and every day is a step closer.

I can never thank my best friend enough for creating this album with me and helping me reach this clarity in my life. To become and grow as best friends for 4 years and finally work in complete unison with the strengths that we developed made that last summer in my hometown worth it. It’s a time in my life that is already too far behind me but I get to keep those memories with me forever through this album and the clothes and jewelry that he produced as well.

I might never get the chance to be able to work on music in my hometown again but this album did everything it needed for me. There might be a chance for a deluxe over the summer and I want to release the album on vinyl but music just isn’t the priority it used to be. I really love this album though, someone can listen to the first 30 seconds of a song and be like, “This is terrible”, and it wouldn’t change how I really feel about it. This is the album I can close the curtain of a chapter in my life to, and thank you if you ever got to give it a listen.